Is there anything better than being outside and running? Well actually yes, there is and this year I am going to be able to do it. I am going to be able to combine my two greatest passions in life: Running and Movember.
Next month, I will be taking part in the London Landmarks Half-Marathon in support of the men’s health charity and will be running alongside a team of more than 100 men and women, all with the aim of keeping men alive longer.
I am going to be running the streets of London, passing all the famous landmarks, on closed roads with huge crowds and I am going to be doing it with fellow rockstars, sharing the fun, freedom and maybe just a little pain.
But, before race day, I wanted to share my story about why a physical activity like running means so much to me.
Like so many during the pandemic, I was challenged on many levels and life in itself was very difficult.
To cut a long story short, I live with persistent depressive disorder (also known as Dysthymia). This essentially means that I often find life quite a challenge, even during the good times, because finding enjoyment can be tough. Especially when you have constant thoughts telling you that you do not deserve them or that they will end quickly anyway.
And during the bad times? Well, that is when the feelings of hopelessness, being unworthy and even suicidal ideation come in. The worst time? That was 10 years ago when I suffered a complete breakdown and was on the path to suicide before some fortunate interventions. I learnt a lot during this time, having spent months in intensive treatment, and learning how to live with my depression better than before. Since then, I have been putting those lessons into practice every day and while I have faced some real challenges along the way, fortunately for me, I have been lucky enough to have seen the light.
For me, running has always been my coping mechanism when battling my own mental health. During my darkest days, they learned a lot on Movember, just like a good friend the charity has become. The Community Ambassador group who were a new set of friends, checked in on me and listened, without judgement and without prejudice were complete LIFESAVERS!
In the past, I did speak to others as well, just not in huge amounts because although I see the benefit in doing so, my illness often makes these situations tough to do. Opening up about how you feel is a game changer and no matter how small the conversation might be, no matter if the other person does not say a word, it is always a weight lifted and makes me a little more at ease.
Putting it simply, my coping foundations have comprised of Movember’s acronym ALEC… Ask… Listen… Encourage… Action… Check-in. It is so simple, and it is something that we can all remember so that we can seek help or provide support at any time. You don’t have to be a counsellor to help a mate, you just need to be available, non-judgemental and willing to listen actively.
There are many battles to come, I know that, but I also know that there are people around me who have my back, who care and will keep me with my head above water; my mates. And I know that I must keep putting all the things that I have learnt over the years into practice. There is always light at the end of the tunnel; never give up on that!
If you are concerned about a friend or loved one, there are practical steps you can take to offer your support.
- Arrange a time to chat.
Don’t make vague plans or hide behind a screen. Set a specific time and date to get together in person. If your friend finds it difficult to talk, especially when the focus is all on them, try doing something else as a distraction. Some guys find it easier to open up during a walk or a bike ride than if they’re sitting directly opposite you.
- Offer empathy and support, not solutions.
You don’t have to have the answers. Just be their friend. Listen well. Ask open-ended questions that encourage them to keep sharing – for example, ‘How is this affecting you most?’Movember produces free interactive resources at Movember Conversations on how to support a friend who might be struggling and practice open conversations.
- Reduce the stigma.
For some men, it’s hard talking about depression, much less getting the help they need, because of the stigma around it. Lots of men are taught from an early age that they have to appear ‘tough’ or ‘strong’, and that emotion is a sign of weakness. Take the stigma out of the picture, perhaps by sharing your own experiences, if applicable.
- Encourage your friend to seek help.
Remind them that seeking help is a valid and necessary investment in their well-being. If they’re reluctant to get professional help, you could offer to help find someone who might be a good fit for them.
- Follow up.
Check-in with your friend regularly. Make it a priority. Even if they seem to be doing better, reach out to let them know they’re not alone, offer practical support, or just get outside together.
Featured Photo by Fitsum Admasu on Unsplash
