If you ask your child what they did at school today, you’ll almost certainly get the default answer: “Nothing.”
Ask who made them laugh, what annoyed them or what they’d change about their day, and you might suddenly get a completely different conversation.
That’s oracy in the real world. It might sound like a fancy educational term, but it’s really just about being able to find the words for what’s in your head, listen to other people and feel comfortable joining in.
And there’s a reason we’re hearing more about it. New research from the National Literacy Trust found that fewer than half of children and young people felt they were good at speaking up in class, while just 44.8% felt good at expressing their feelings. The Government has also said it wants speaking to be recognised as a core foundation of education alongside reading, writing and numeracy, with a new oracy framework planned for primary schools.
So, what can we do at home without making every conversation feel like homework? Becky Goodfield, Head of Drama Kids, shares some simple ideas, with insights from Rachel Powell, Principal of Drama Kids in Sefton and West Lancashire.
Being good at talking doesn’t mean talking the most
We tend to picture a confident communicator as the child whose hand is permanently in the air, who chats to anyone and never seems short of something to say. But that’s only one type of communicator.
The quieter child who listens carefully and takes a little longer to answer may be brilliant at picking up on what other people are saying. Meanwhile, the child who could happily talk from breakfast until bedtime might need a bit more practice at pausing, taking turns and leaving room for somebody else.
“Spoken communication is how we make friends and connect as a family,” says Rachel. “We regularly see children who find conversation tricky. They might talk over each other, struggle to wait for a reply or find it hard to listen when someone else speaks. Even in a digital world, being able to speak and listen well still underpins so much of everyday life.”
And sometimes helping with those skills means doing something that can feel surprisingly difficult as a parent: saying nothing.
Try not to finish their sentences
You know the moment. Your child is halfway through telling you something, they’re searching for a word and you know exactly what they’re trying to say. So you say it for them.
We all do it, and usually because we’re trying to help. But sometimes the most helpful thing is to give them another five seconds and let them find their own way there.
When a child says, “I know what I mean, I just don’t know how to say it,” that little struggle is actually useful. They’re searching for vocabulary, sorting out their thoughts and working out how to make somebody else understand what’s going on in their head.
Rather than jumping in, try saying “Take your time”, “What do you mean?” or “Can you think of another way to explain it?”
“In our drama sessions, we use ad-libbing and conversation exercises to encourage children to speak freely,” Rachel explains. “They have to listen to what the other person has actually said before responding. It helps them react in the moment rather than just waiting for their turn to speak.”
And you can sneak plenty of that same practice into normal family life without your child having the slightest idea you’re doing it.
Three little tweaks to everyday chats
Ask a question they can’t answer with ‘fine’. Instead of “Did you have a good day?”, try “What was the weirdest thing that happened today?” or “Who made you laugh?” You may be surprised at how much more you get back.
Ask for their ‘why’. If your child declares a film boring, a house rule completely unfair or pineapple on pizza a crime against humanity, ask them why. The topic really doesn’t matter. They’re learning how to explain what they think rather than simply announcing it.
Let them interview you. Challenge them to find out something new about you by asking five questions. The only rule is that each question has to follow from your previous answer. It’s a fun way to get them really listening rather than simply waiting to say the next thing.
None of this needs to feel like an exercise. In fact, the sillier the conversation, the better.
Don’t make every conversation a test
Children need space to ramble, lose their train of thought, get a word completely wrong and tell a story that takes approximately three times longer than necessary. That’s part of learning to communicate too.
And for a child who is naturally quieter, being told to “speak up” or suddenly being put on the spot can make speaking feel even harder.
“Our approach is to let children join in at their own pace,” says Rachel. “In our group plays, children often speak lines together first. They get to participate without the frightening feeling of being singled out. Over time, that shared group confidence can develop into individual confidence.”
That same thinking sits behind Drama Kids’ oracy work in schools, where its enrichment programme uses drama to give children practical opportunities to speak, listen and respond in a supportive, low-pressure environment.
It isn’t about creating a room full of performers. It’s about giving children somewhere to practise using their voice so that, when they need it in everyday life, it feels a little easier.
Sometimes, just listen
Children use these skills in hundreds of small ways. Joining a game in the playground. Telling a teacher they don’t understand. Making up with a friend. Explaining why something feels unfair. Sharing an idea they’re really excited about.
Helping them get better at all of that doesn’t need to become another thing on the parenting to-do list. Ask something interesting. Give them time to answer. Let them disagree with you occasionally and hear them out.
And every now and then, when you’re tempted to jump in with the word they’re looking for, the answer to their problem or your own version of the story, try just listening instead. Showing a child that what they have to say is genuinely worth hearing is a pretty powerful place to start.
To find out more about Drama Kids, visit the website.
National Literacy Trust, 2025: Children and young people’s speaking and listening in 2025
Department for Education, 2026: Every child achieving and thriving
