Even when you’re exhausted, truly resting can feel impossible. Many of us reach the weekend ready to switch off, only to be met with anxiety, guilt, or a restless mind. This isn’t laziness or poor planning – it’s the pressure to constantly “be productive” that keeps our brains on high alert.
Hannah Lewis, a seasoned counsellor and psychotherapist at Compare My Health Insurance, explains why it happens and how to reclaim genuine rest.
“It’s hard to rest because our brains have been trained to stay ‘on.’ Even when the body is tired, the pressure to be productive keeps our minds racing, making genuine relaxation feel out of reach. Over time, this constant state of alertness can affect our mood, focus, and overall wellbeing, making it even harder to switch off.”
So how can we start fostering a healthier relationship with rest? Here are five practical steps to help guide you:
Recognising the psychological aspect of rest
Rest isn’t just the absence of physical activity; it’s a mental state. For those used to high stress or a “survival mode” mentality, slowing down can feel unfamiliar and even alarming.
The mind, accustomed to constant alertness, struggles with stillness, which it may interpret as vulnerability.
It’s can be helpful to acknowledge this mental barrier and understand that true relaxation often means tuning out both physical and mental stressors.
Top tip: Experiment with mindfulness exercises like meditation or gentle yoga if they feel comfortable for you to gradually acquaint yourself with the feeling of calm, helping your mind and body perceive rest as a safe space.
Challenging the productivity narrative
Society often equates productivity with self-worth, embedding the belief that we must constantly keep busy to be valued.
This narrative complicates our ability to find rest, as many feel guilty for taking time off.
But rest is not synonymous with idleness; it can be the foundation that allows for productivity in the first place.
Top tip: Reframe your mindset and practice affirming that downtime is productive for your mental health. Journaling about your feelings related to rest can help disentangle emotions of guilt.
Mitigating hypervigilance and overstimulation
For some, trying to relax can trigger racing thoughts or irritability, particularly after prolonged stress or trauma.
Such hypervigilance can be a learned response, and with support it may gradually lessen over time.
Simple, structured routines can signal safety to the body and encourage a shift away from the survival mode.
Top tip: Start with small sensory grounding techniques, like focusing on the texture of a soft blanket or the sound of calming music, to ease your nervous system into relaxation. If these feelings are overwhelming or persistent, consider speaking with your GP or a qualified mental health professional for personalised support.
Adapting rest for neurodivergent needs
ADHD or autism can complicate restful experiences due to varying sensory needs and rapid thought patterns.
Rest doesn’t look the same for everyone; it might be an engaging activity for some or serene stillness for others.
Top tip: Identify activities that bring you peace, such as drawing, building models, or listening to familiar tunes, and incorporate them into your rest sessions to find what genuinely relaxes you.
Building transitions between activity and rest
Quick transitions between incessant activity to rest can leave the mind feeling unsettled. Rituals like dimming lights or playing acoustic music can prepare your mind and body for downtime, easing the transition from productivity to relaxation.
Top tip: Develop a pre-rest routine that signals the end of work, like taking a warm bath or lighting a candle, to create a soothing buffer between busy and restful times.
If you’re worried about ongoing difficulties with rest or your mental health more broadly, it’s a good idea to check in with your GP or a mental health professional for individual advice.
